People often talk of the witching hour, the time of day when they’re most vulnerable to dark thoughts, hopelessness and fear.
For me, it’s the morning that’s most like this. I wake up early and easily, but without the distractions of daily life, my brain eagerly lifts up its deepest concerns. It’s sort of like this sky — the sunrise illuminates the underbelly of my darkness.
It isn’t usually this pretty.
For years, I’ve been avoiding facing this time of day head on. I’ve lapsed into the bad habit of waking up to my iPhone, distracting myself with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, email, and blogs until it’s time to get ready for work.
But lately, I’ve been walking. I get up and start wandering my neighborhood, alone with my thoughts, searching for heaven knows what. I’ve found myself facing the underbelly of my cheerful, calm exterior. Frustration and dissatisfaction color my mornings. My feet walk to the beat of anger and disappointment.
I’m not sure if dredging all of this up is helpful really. I don’t feel any better. Each day brings additional dilemmas. But, maybe if I walk enough, I can shed some of these thoughts like dead leaves. Letting them scatter. Letting them go.
Photo taken by me with an iPhone. No filters.